Complete & Utter Randomness

Can't sleep. So I will write whatever is on my mind. Forgive me if my thoughts jump all over the place.

I wish there was some way of making someone not feel certain feelings: jealousy, hatred, loneliness, sadness, neediness, or any feelings or history you just want to forget or take away.

I get so jealous of other girls sometimes, even though I know there are some girls who are jealous of me. I don't see it. Am I oblivious? I get jealous of maybe certain parts of their body or maybe even a personality trait I do not possess.

I wish I knew the real intentions of some people's actions. I want to be able to read minds and to always be one step ahead of the game.

This year is my year. I have some many things I want to accomplish this year. Things that are just for me and no one else. I want a tattoo. I want to do my sexy photo shoot. I want to be more involved in sports (bball or vball). I want to take up either pole dancing or hip hop dancing. I want to be able to go to the movies and a restaurant alone. I want to learn how to rollerblade. I want to workout to the extreme to reach my goal of beach body for this summer. I want to "really" put myself out there to meeting new people, having fun and going out on dates. I want to tackle more outdoorsy activities. And I'm sure the list goes on and on.

Life is a funny thing. You never, ever know where it will take you. There are always times when I think to myself..."well if i didn't do this, then I wouldn't of done that or met so-and-so."

I had some recent drama creep back up. An ex telling me some things I really didn't really want to know."

I am a good person. I know I deserve the best. I'm just waiting for my prince charming to sweep me off my feet. tick..tock..tick tock. But I am patient. No need to rush these things. It is not a race to the finish line.

It's going to be about 4 months since I've been single. It's been okay. The first two months were miserable because I was still trying to get back up on my two feet. December and January have been pretty good to me. I am back on track and going with the flow of life. With that, I have met some great people and have done some new & exciting things. It's only January but I've had a blast thus far. If this is any indication as to how the rest of the year will be, I know it'll be a good one.

I better hit the hay. Don't be a chicken Kim. Do it if you want it. Now if only I can take my own advice...bah.