The Old "Me"

Just looking back on how far I've come, I remember it being so difficult...the journey being never ending.  This is how that story goes...

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Minutes were enduring and excruciating.  I couldn't eat.  I couldn't sleep.  All I would do is replay how it happened OVER...and OVER...and OVER again.  It was exhausting.  I kept on telling myself I wanted a change for "ME" but who was I kidding.   I was so angry, sad, depressed and wanted that "revenge" body to get him back or at least a tiny fraction of his attention.  

Here are some steps I took to drastically change my life for the better

Step 1: Get a gym membership & GO to the gym!!!
I walked into the nearest gym, which was Shapes Pembina and signed on the dotted line and also got a personal trainer. CHECK.

I always found solace at the gym.  It was MY time - no one elses.  I would take out any angry feelings about my situation.  In fact, it was push me harder when doing those nasty squats and lunges.  I knew each time I stepped onto those gym floors, a mental weight would be lifted off my chubby unshapely shoulders.  Endorphins are truly the best!

Someone to kick my glutes every couple of days worked wonders for my body transformation.  Amy, my trainer, was also a friend...someone else to listen to my jibber jabber ramblings of my life.  I never knew how to do weights properly up until she introduced them into my routines.  For without her, I don't even know what my body would look like to this date.

There would be days I would spend a good 2 hours at the gym (now - I would never do that since I know better as this would of been in the "over-training" category).  I would SMASH each and every workout: increasing weights, reps, minutes.  I knew each time I made an effort to head to the gym for a workout, would be one step/one day closer to achieving my ultimate goal.

Step 2: TRY to eat properly again
I remember stepping on the scale and it reading 10-15 lbs less than my normal weight.  I knew this was definitely not the proper way to lose weight.  Something had to be changed.  My stomach was longing and begging for food after many weeks of my depression and practically starving myself.  I started off slowly increasing my food intake.  Finding it hard to eat?  Yup that was me.  I just kept thinking "baby steps...baby steps."

Step 3: STOP binge eating/Clean Eating
One of the most difficult things you can do in your life is stick to a "clean eating" nutritional plan.  Kim (3-5 years ago): Sneaking junk food into my room to add to my stash...driving out to buy junk food...eating late night snacks...eating and studying with junk food in front of me...eating whatever I wanted when out with friends - these were just some of the things I would do to satisfy my cravings.  I remember looking in the mirror and thinking "I know I can be better than this".

I FINALLY got some assistance from my trainer and good friends.  Yes, the food was not as tasty as my delectable french fry friends or chips, but I knew clean eating was the only way I could truly transform.  I got myself a nutritional P.O.A. (Plan of Action) and did my best to follow.  I never knew how the food I put into my body would be more important than my workouts.

After all, 75-80% of what you eat is how your body composition will turn out.

Step 4: Find a good support system
Having a support circle of close family and friends will increase your percentage of success...whatever it may be.

If it wasn't for my good friends, I do not know where I would be today.  Thinking back now, I am so sure you all were sick of hearing me repeat things again and again.  Sorry for that but thanks for listening and being there when I needed you the most.  I appreciate every moment you were able to spare.  :D

Step 5: Get a good night's sleep
Sounds easy right?  Not in my case.  Over-thinking can be damaging when you want or in my case NEED to sleep.  I would toss and turn.  Nothing would help.  Somedays I would clamp my fist and hit the bed begging my brain "PLEASE LET ME SLEEP".  I clearly remember one day where I didn't sleep at all.  48 hours minus sleep is me in zombie-mode.  Not good.

For a last ditch effort, I turned to over-the-counter sleeping pills.  I desperately needed some shut eye.  I was aware of the side effects as once taken can be addicting but to me it was worth the risk. I was mentally and physically tired.

Sleep is when your body repairs and actually builds...something I didn't know at the time...something I wish I knew :S

Weeks went by and FINALLY I was able to sleep without the pills.  THANK GOD!  I guess the sleep fairy missed my house all this time :D

Step 6: DRINK WATER
Such a easy thing to do but for some reason I didn't want to.  I found it so difficult to remember to drink water.  I am sure my body was aching for just a drop.

That all changed when I started working out at the gym.  I bought myself a fancy water bottle - so really there would not be an excuse not to drink.  Overtime, my water consumption increased and WHAT...my weight went down too?  Who knew!

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These are just some of the things which aided in my transformation.  I truly hope this helps at least one person realize their true potential.  170lbs to 125 lbs....that happened with hard work, dedication, willpower and determination.  

If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!