Compliments...How I Love Thee

Earlier this week at Shapes, I was just minding my own business on the stationary bike near the front door by reception when Stacey, a super sweet employee, came up to me and said something that made my day for sure. She said "Kim, since you have started here at Shapes..you look just FABULOUS." I thanked her and tried my hardest not to smile after she left. So nice of her to say.

Today, my trainer Amy said I have significantly increased weights lifted and endurance. She said the girl that came in a month ago about her breakup is a totally different girl now. It is very true. I am much stronger mentally and physically.

This week I am going hardcore. Workout everyday for 1 hour and 30 minutes first thing in the morning. I have already set my alarm for tomorrow. 9 o clock is start time. I really have to watch what I eat. A couple of times this week I have overindulged on chips. Not a good thing if I want to be...well where I wanna be...which is 10 pounds lighter. I have to stick to the strict diet plan. Here it is:

Morning: 3-4 egg whites, Oats with water (Splenda is optional)

Snack: Banana, Apple, Carrots, or Celery Sticks

Lunch: Tuna, Chicken or Salmon

Snack: Protein Shake

After Workout: Protein Shake

Dinner: Chicken, Tuna, Salmon or Lean Ground Beef with Veggies

Snack: Carrots or Celery sticks

It's quite hard with the holiday season, but I'll make it work. Key word is "PINK ELEPHANT". I want to look great for my pictures and my upcoming birthday bash. Wish me luck.

Bye Bye Inches

I was cleaning out my closet for clothes that didn't fit to give away to The Salvation Army or Value Village and found some interesting things. I have 2 dresses that the buttons used to bust open and now like magic....ta da....they don't do that anymore. Clothes are getting looser. The clothes I thought were too small now fit.

Bet 'til the end of January? I am still thinking about it. I don't know if I want him to get a heads up on me. I really want to win. And to keep going at this crazy diet and exercise regime for another month...eek. We will have to see.

If I keep at this, I'll make my goal weight in no time. When I first started this I think I was about 160 lbs. Right now, my current weight is 140 lbs. My goal weight is 130 - 135 lbs. 10 more pounds to go.

I'm lovin' life right now!!!

Wow It's Been A Long While

Sorry I haven't been on here to update you. I've been so busy with school and such. You haven't missed much. I'm not sure if I had posted earlier in another post but I am currently on a bet with Kimsong. The bet is to see whoever has the most results (physical) in a month just by using images of ourselves. The loser pays for the winners meal. Mary lou is going to be our impartial judge. Judging commences on the 31st of this month. I am working really hard at the gym right now and have recently started up a new diet Joe has graciously given to me. I am going to win. I mean we are both winners in the end but I want to come out on top. He keeps saying he is going to win, which compels me more for the challenge. I am still taking my transformation/progression pictures each week but they are now with me in my undies, therefore I will not post them up anymore. Waaa waaa waaa. Sorry.

This weekend is going to tons of fun though. 3 bday in 1 day at Republic Nightclub. My friend, who is also the owner was able to get us the VIP Pole room. You don't even k now how frickin' excited I am. I finally get to practice my moves in front of a crowd. Mentally, I have a routine but we will see how it plays out on Saturday.

Wow! It's Been 5 Days

What's Happened?

Friday: Went to Republic for Lisa's birthday, the new fellas came out, went to eat at East Ocean with the fellas

Saturday: Went to Jon Siu's birthday at his house, then over to Noogen's apartment with the new fellas 'til 3:00 am

Sunday: Had dinner at grandma's house, then Tony Roma's with the new fellas, and bubbletea at Global Tea House...later that night I had a fever

Monday: Didn't go to school or the gym because I was feeling like a big pile of crap

Tuesday: Didn't go to the gym but went to school. Had an interview.

Wednesday: school, gym, study...boring stuff.

And that's what you missed.

P.S. Here is week 5. It kinda looks like I'm Super Woman. I guess the logo on my top reflected on my camera...hehe. I'm sure it looks quite similar to week 4 (except for the fact I'm wearing different clothes) because I didn't workout for 2 days yikes. I'm also confident week 6 will look similiar to week 5, because I also missed 2 days at the gym because I had a fever. Bah. Gotta push it for the next 4 days. You can do it!!!

Yesterday

I didn't get a chance to log in yesterday's events so here is the short form.

School, gym, pole dancing, Polo Park, movie. Here is the breakdown:

Gym: all over body circuit (x2) and 20 minutes on stationary bike
Pole Dancing: learned some new sexy moves, had a "pics or didn't happen moment with Mary Lou, free styled
Polo Park: bought a black liquid Sephora brand eye liner and walked around until close

Zombie

Note: I did not get to bed til late...so I felt like a zombie...one of the symptoms of joining the "Super Friends" group chat on BBM or so I was told by the other members. I decided to go for a run because it looked beautiful outside. Once I got outside I found out it was not as nice as it seemed. I started with a fast-walk but quickly sped up to a running pace. About 3 minutes into the run, I had to stop. I guess I'm not used to running for a straight 20 minutes as compared to the interval training I normally do. So it was 2 minutes run, 3-4 minutes walk. At one point, my leg cramped up. So I pretty much looked like a gimp...a zombie gimp. I did fast walking all the way back home while listening to my iPod. Two fatal mistakes I made. First, I didn't drink water beforehand. Second, I did not stretch. Ya this leg cramp is all me. All my fault but I'm okay now.

Worked out today but just a somewhat lighter one because I was still feeling out of it from the other day. I did my all over body circuit with 2 sets, 30 minutes on the stationary bike and 15 minutes fast walking on the treadmill. Nothing too intense today.

Well Friday is just around the corner, I wonder if I will be able to fit into that dress I bought 2 weeks ago with Christian at St.Vital from Urban Behaviour. I'll see how it goes.

I Feel Weird

I woke up yesterday morning in a hot sweat, my head was pounding, my heart racing, I felt like I was going to barf, my body quite sore from the extraneous workout the day before. I think my body was telling me to "stop working out too much". Therefore, I didn't workout. I went to school and walked home after just to get a little cardio workout in.

I was asked to join the "Super Friends" group chat on Blackberry. It's pretty neat. The group can share pictures, calendars, and lists. Sure, they talk about random things but it makes for an interesting day...everyday.

Day 22: No Pain, No Gain/Missed U Blogger

Okay here is what you missed:

Saturday: Woke up, went to a ACN business conference with Joe (seems interesting), worked out at Shapes (all over body circuit & cardio), showered, ate dinner at home, went out to Mystique with Char and the guy she is seeing, Jordin, Joe and his friends were there, saw some high school peeps, danced on the elevated platform, was a "pretend date" for Joe's ex to be jealous, Joe's friend Jessie called me "his new fag hag" (love it), had one McDonald's french fry (Char waved it right in front of my face) and orange juice, went home, bbm'ed with "the guy", and most importantly I WON THE BET (Manny vs Miguel) with kimsong. I get treated to a dinner. Lucky me!!!

Sunday: Woke up, worked out at Shapes, went to my sister's place to help her sell a Kobe Bryant jersey on eBay, had dinner, slept at 1 am.

Today: woke up to a bbm and made a friend outing (not a date) for tomorrow, went to school, went to the gym for way to long today, had a training session with Amy, showered, got ready for a mall outing with Mary Lou, exchanged the shorts, brought a new bra (this one actually fits nicely), hairspray (all out of my "Big Sexy Hair"), and had great convo with mL while watching the kids play in the play area, came home to tell you all about my adventures for the past couple of days. I don't know if I will be able to gather enough energy for a workout tomorrow. I am feeling a lot of pain in my back. It is probably from the dead-lifts we did during the PT session. Eek. I think I am going to call it an early night and get some much needed shuteye.

Picture day again. I think my body looks different than week one. Hmm. I may need to analyze it thoroughly. I think my shoulder/arms look a little more squared off than week one. Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Armageddon

Well folks, I did not work out yesterday and feeling really guilty about it. Cue scary & dramatic music (Daa Daa Daaaaaaa). I know. I'm so bad. The car situation at home just did not allow for it to happen. I did get a chance to get my eye lashes re-filled. I am once again feeling beautified.

The evening came around and my sister had suggested we hit the mall for some early Christmas shopping and to check out the deals of course. I found a cute pair of shorts and that black lace top I had tried on before with Christian. I purchased it but half of the cost. The store was having a friends and family event: everything 50% off original tagged price. The one catch was you weren't allowed to try the clothes on. The change rooms were temporarily closed off to the public for the event.

My sister and I drove back to her place to have a little fashion show. It turns out the shorts I had purchased we WAY too big on me....I mean WAY TOO BIG. With a little tug, I'd be just wearing my undies and no one wants to see that. Why did I listen to the sales person? I got a size 10 because the next size down was an 8. She said the shorts fit a little smaller as said by customers. I of course listened. Dang. I shouldn't of. What a drag?!? I have to go back. Hopefully the size 8 will be there.

I got picked up by Lorraine, Adam, Christian, and Devon from my sister's place. We decided to purchase tickets for "2012" beforehand just in case they were sold out. I kind of was in a weird mood and I guess Christian sensed it from me. It didn't help that when I had asked him which movie time we were purchasing...he had told me 10:15 pm. Being impatient, I went to the self-serve machine. They all ended up getting the 10:30 pm show. I had to wait in the long-ass regular line to get mine exchanged. Is someone punishing me? Haha I know..I'm so dramatic sometimes.

We ate first (yam fries and some nachos....I'm going to have to pay for those choices tomorrow) and then headed back to the theater only to find there was already a huge long line-up for the movie....a movie I knew very little about. I do not really watch television anymore. I just download everything..haha. It was another "the-world-is-ending" movies. But this one turned out to be really something. The visuals were just amazing. The story was good too. A solid 8 in my eyes.

It makes you think though. What if the world were to end? Would you be able to do all the things you wanted in life before the expiration date? Think about that one.

Flirting

Same thing everyday. I like routine though.

That's how it going to be for...well...for a long while. Each and every single day. I just realized today that I only have 2 more months until "my deadline" for TBM (Total Body Makeover) for my potential Brazil excursion/Pink Elephant Photography boudoir photo shoot. Push it to the limit.

Went to the gym today and did my somewhat new TBM circuit, as well as my cardio interval training on the treadmill and yes I was right. I get a better cardio workout on the co-ed side. Afterward, I did my stretching and ran into my neighborhood/childhood friend Nick Smith. He flirted with me a bit saying he has pretty much had a crush on me since junior high (about 10 years) and that I was hot...even at the gym..eek. He is such a sweet guy, but I just want a friendship...for any of the guys I meet right now. He said he wanted to party it up because he sensed I was new to the game and didn't know how to play. Soon my friend...soon.

We had a full class for pole dancing today. With that, I had to use the pole at the front of the class, which is also the instructors pole....so everyone was looking at moi the whole darn class. We learned some great new moves. One move was called "flirting". It is so sexy. You are on your back, legs straight up in the air....bend the knees keeping legs together at all times....making circles with your legs. We also learned "the bow". It is quite an awkward move. I may need to practice at home. Look up these moves if you want to see the real deal. Only two more weeks to go, which is saddening but sign up for Pole II is just around the corner.

Anyways, we will see what happens this weekend. Everything is up in the air right now. All I know is I have to workout extra hard tomorrow. I ate a couple of questionable things today (aka Sun Chips and Salted Almonds), both high in sodium.

It'll be better tomorrow. I promise.

Luxalune Evening/Training Session w/ Amy

Christian and I went to the mall after dinner. I found a couple of things at Urban Behaviour. Christian picked out a black lace dress I would normally not take a second glance at and a cute black mini skirt. They looked fab in the change room. I tried on a black lace top as well, which I am now thinking of going back and purchasing. I thought it was nice, but Christian didn't like it. Whatever. I am going to get it.

After the mall, we scooped up Jen, who had just arrived back home from her Vietnam trip only 40 minutes ago, and Karl to met up with Devon and Charmaine at Luxalune Gastropub. When we arrived, the place was quite busy. We had some good food and some great beers/drinks. Conversation between all of us ranged from sex, guys, girls, poker...pretty much touched on every subject. We had some great laughs. The place closed at 12:00 am. We didn't want to end the night there, so we decided to go to Shell and rent a move.

It almost took 30 minutes for us to mutually decide on a movie from the very small range they had. We picked the movie "Mama's Boy" with the guy from Napoleon Dynamite and Anna Farris. I think the movie didn't make it to movie theaters because I have never heard of it before yesterday. It was not too bad. A solid 6.

_______________________________

No school today..hip hip hooray. I woke up late, had my Fiber 1 cereal and relaxed in my room until 1:00 pm. I went over to my sister's house to view her boudoir pictures she had taken a year ago. I had mentioned to my sister I wanted to take some professional boudoir pictures near my birthday as a treat for myself. So when I am old and wrinkly I can say "DAMN, I was FINE." Stayed and had a little heart-to-heart sisterly chat until my training session at 2:30 pm.

Today, Amy added some new exercises to the mix. She also analyzed my shoulder because I had complained to her earlier on in the week of pain. With that, she left out some exercises. After the session was over, I went over to the treadmill for jog/run internal training on the women's side. I really think it is a psychological thing with me not feeling tired when I workout on the Co-Ed side. Today, I just felt so tired and drained. I kept on looking at the timer on the machine to see when I would be done. I know now what I must do. From now on, CARDIO IS DONE ON CO-ED SIDE....ALWAYS.

Afterward, I went to Winners to check out the deals. I found a really cute pair of dark denim jeans and a sexy pair of heels. I needed a new pair of jeans anyways. The jeans I normally wear are getting a little baggy on the waist and bum-bum, which is AWESOME. Yah for me!!! I'm losing weight/inches and feeling just great. Only 2 months to reach my goal of 15 pounds. I can do it!!!

All I Can Say Is "OUCH"

I woke up this morning and the first thing I said was "ouch". My whole left shoulder is in pain and I don't even know what I did yesterday that could of caused it. Maybe the "monkey curls"...oh I don't know. I even got my mommy to massage my shoulder for me. It hurt so bad.

I briefly looked at prices on the Air Canada website for airfare to Brazil. It was an astounding $1400. My mommy said if I wanted to go she would pay for 1/2 of it. I need to start making the dough if I want to go. Ohhh Mother goose..haha.

Even though my shoulder hurt, I was determined to hit to gym even if it was a light workout. I did my lower body circuit with 2 sets. There was only one exercise that hurt my shoulder, which was the chin-ups. Afterward, I went on the Co-Ed side and went on the Arc Trainer, which is similar to the elliptical. Look it up if you want to know more. I went 20 minutes on the machine....listening to my jam "Sexy Bitch" about 4 times over. It really motivates me for some reason. Did a little cool-down stretch and left the gym for the day. Even though I felt a little out of it today, I am proud of myself for not giving up.

Day 15: Up The Tempo

Went to the gym today and did my all over body circuit. I even had time to spare to do my a cardio workout. I wanted to run so I decided on the treadmill today. I love my new playlist. It makes me want to workout even harder. Since my last two attempts on the treadmill were somewhat on the easy side, I decided today was the day to increase the running speed to 6 as compared to my regular 5.5. I did find it challenging but that's what you have to do to see results. I went for 20 minutes. I think tomorrow is also the day to increase my time to 30 minutes. We will see.

It's all about stepping it up a notch this week. I think it's a good way to start off my workout week. I hope I don't burn myself out or pig out on junk food. I find it easier to not be tempted by junk when I brush my teeth around 9:30 or 10:00 pm. Drink plenty of water because most of the time people think they are hungry when they are just thirsty. BTW, I feel a bit guilty. I had a Coffee Crisp just now...relax it was the Halloween size..hehe.

Week 3 picture is up. Again, I don't see a change. I may need to change the outfit I'm wearing soon because the shorts are on the baggy side. Wait and see next week. Anyways, do you guys see anything different? Let me know. Once again, it is quite alright with me. I got lots of positive feedback this weekend, which I am thrilled about. Hopefully by the end of this week I will get the same praise. I better work my butt off.

Beat Me To The Punch

After my last post, I had a conversation with "someone". He beat me to it....the whole cutting off communications for awhile. It was eating away at me because I didn't want to lose him as a friend. For me, it would of been harder for the words to come out of my mouth. It was quite sad and emotional for me because he is a good friend. Who am I going to turn to now when I want someone to talk to at 3 am?

Today, I am feeling a little down. Time to bust out the weights and cardio. I'll take my weekly picture and post it up post-workout. I'm done.

Dim Mothertucking Sum

Went to bed at 4 am. You can imagine how tired I was when I started receiving BBM's from Mary Lou this morning at 9 am. We had a chit-chat about doing a potential double date..yikes. I dunno. It's way too soon, but I'll see how I feel in a couple of days. Had a couple of messed up dreams, which I do not even want to mention. I went back to bed only to be awakened by my parents soon after to get ready for Dim Sum with the family at Southland Restaurant.

We had a great lunch catching up with my brother-in-law's side of the family. Dim Sum...sooo good but sooo bad. I really wanted to put in a workout but my lack of sleep would not go over so well at the gym....I'm sure. We left at 2 pm or so.

When we got home, I immediately turned down the blinds and slipped under the covers. I slept until 3:30 pm. It was a much-needed nap. I was still so exhausted from the crazy night I had. Did some chores when I woke up and then headed over to my Grandma's house for our bi-weekly dinners.

Tomorrow - I NEED TO WORKOUT. I weighed myself and I don't know if the scale is playing tricks on me but it says I'm 5 pounds heavier....yuck. Tomorrow is picture day once again. I'm sure I'll look a bit heavier since my appetite is back. We will see.

No To Workout Today

Okay I guess I'm paying for the extraneous workout week I had. My body is telling me "NO" forreals this time. I suppose I can make it up with cardio this evening with the crazy-ass dancing I plan to do.

I'm about to step out with the parents and my grandma for a little dim sum. I am going to make sure I do not go overboard since I'm already going to treat myself with a steak dinner at tonight's social, which I will blog about later.

Bye bye 4 now.

"I Have A Straight."

Went to the gym for 1 hour and 30 minutes today. Did my upper and lower body circuit with 2 sets each with about 8-12 reps of each exercise. Then popped over to the co-ed side to do my cardio on the treadmill. Once again I found myself breezing through the 20 minutes interval jog/run training. I think I may need to step it up a bit tomorrow with 30 minutes. But let me tell you...my legs killed after my cardio. They are still hurting as I am typing. So I may need to take it a bit easy tomorrow. But we will have to wait and see how I feel.

Went home and had to do chores. Kim aka window cleaner. I had to clean all the windows in my house. Climbed a unsteady ladder, which was quite high...was scared a bit but gathered enough courage to overcome my fear. I thought to myself...well if I fell off and died at least I would know I lived a little on the edge...haha.

Got ready to pick up the fellas (Christian & Devon) to go to Joe's house warming party at 9 pm. Met his new roommate/co-worker Graham (nice guy), and a whole bunch of new faces (Lisa, Cindy, Mike, Ralph, Raniel, David, Tyler). We played 2 games of poker, ordered pizzas and laughed all the way through it. Devon, Christian and Joe all said it looked like I lost weight since the last time they saw me. But really the last time they all saw me was last week. They said a week's worth of going to the gym really pays off for me personally. I was just so thrilled. I adore the feedback I am getting, which makes me want to work even harder to reach my ultimate goal. Back to the party...boy did the time just fly. The next time I looked at the oven clock it read 2:00 am. Mind you, I didn't win anything but overall I had an awesome time. I love meeting new people. Tomorrow there will be even more people to meet and greet. Excited? Yes!!!

Wow I Feel Good

Mornings are the same ol' same ol'. Wake up, eat cereal, go to school. Pretty boring stuff eh?

I went to the gym with my good friend Charmaine. I did my regular total body weight training circuit and my arm weight training circuit - two sets each with about 10-12 reps of each exercise. Then went over to meet Char on the co-ed side. NOW I know why many of my friends enjoy working out over on this side. To scope out the eye candy. It helps as a motivator too. Went on the treadmill for interval jog/run training for 20 minutes. For some very odd reason, running on the treadmill felt different today. I don't know if it was set too low of a speed or if it was all the testosterone in the room but I honestly think I could of easily done another 20 minutes. Weird right? I guess we will find out tomorrow.

Had my second pole dancing class this evening. Just as fun as the first. Mind you, there were some new girls who had to catch up on some of the moves we learned last week but it was okay because Mary Lou & I seemed like advanced students compared to them...hehe. We learned a couple of new moves: a sexy crawl on the ground, sexy rollover and some others I just can't seem to remember at the moment. I could show you but that would require a long, shiny stripper pole. Not today :D

Yah I Went

My friend Joe canceled on our afternoon of shopping, which was quite alright with me. I made a little trip to Winners. I bought a red sequined top for the weekend (tres sexy) and my first pair of black leggings. I swore to myself I wasn't going to fall for that trend but it's good to make a change...right? Something different and something new. Change is good.

I lounged around the house for a bit when I decided to go to Shapes and put in a workout. I guess I had enough energy in me after all. Did my circuit and then 20 minutes on the elliptical. Saw my good friend Charmaine, had a little chit-chat about the weekend and potentially going to an exercise class tomorrow afternoon. I guess we will wait and see.

Yes!!! My pole dancing class is tomorrow. I cannot wait. I cannot wait to feel "that feeling" again. Single, sexy and free.

Oh So Sore

Wow I feel like a truck has just run me over. I am super sore from my workout yesterday. My body is telling me not to workout today but my mind is saying the opposite. The hurt I am currently feeling could also contribute to the lack of sleep I had last night. I got ready for bed around 12:00 am. I also took a sleeping pill because I just knew I would have a rough time getting to sleep. I tossed, turned and went to the bathroom on many occasions. There was even a point when I said to myself "I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP". The last clock reading I remembered was 2:45 am. I did not have a dream last night (thank goodness). I woke up to a blackberry messenger message from my friend Jant around 10:00 am. Had some cornflakes, went to school and am now waiting for my friend Joe to give me a ring-a-ding to chill this afternoon. If I get more energy, I may workout on the co-ed side later on. Maybe see some hot guys...haha. But I'll tell you guys about my adventures later on this evening. Have a great afternoon.

Another Night-mare...Another Dream

Well once again, I wake up feeling like a big pile of crap. Yet another dream...or more appropriately...a nightmare. I do not even want to get started as to what this one was about because even writing it would bring back those upsetting feelings. Not a good thing.

I went about my day as per usual. Went to school and then hit the gym. I did my new total body circuit twice through and 10 minutes on the StairMaster but had to leave due to a prior commitment.

When I got home, my dad, my brother and I raked all the leaves on our property. Lemme tell you something...I have never hated leaves so much in my life. Mothertucking leaves. You would think doing something like that would leave your mind empty except for the task at hand. Boy was I wrong. All I did when I was raking leaves was...umm...yep...you guessed it...."THINK". Gawd. I'm so sick of it. Is there maybe a device out there that can erase part of your memory. If so, please send to me IMMEDIATELY. Thanks.

Afterward, I thought to myself the workout I did earlier on in the day was probably not good enough because there was a lack of cardio. I went to the Shapes website to see what classes were coming up within the hour. Saw there was a 4:25 pm STEP class...looked at the clock, which read 3:45 pm and decided I was going to go for it. I've never been to a class before. I have always wanted to go with a friend because I was always so scared to go on my own. I thought to myself..."SELF, YOU CAN DO IT." Went to the gym for the 2nd time that day. I setup my riser and took my place. When the class started, the instructor had asked the class if there were any first-timers present. I wasn't going to put up my hand at first but after consideration I thought "Whatever. I got no shame. No one knows me anyways. Here I go." I put up my hand and all the eyes in the room went on me. I felt a little flushed but that only lasted for a second. I missed a couple of steps here and there but once we got into the groove I was finding the class challenging (in a good way). I was smiling through my sweat. This is one of the reasons why I thoroughly enjoy working out. It's the challenge and the endorphins that are released. Your mind is at ease. You temporary forget anything troubling you. You are here and pretty much just having a great time while helping your body. After the class, I told the instructor how much I enjoyed it. She said for my very first time in step class I did a great job. Sure, I feel sore but I'm loving it. I feel great. I am now considering substituting one or two days of my 20-30 minute cardio workout with a class. The only thing I'm not loving is the recent discovery of my lack of boobage. The one downfall with working out and losing weight. Booerns to that. Until tomorrow.

Ta ta for now.

Oh Enough With This Thing They Call "Thinking"

I am feeling a little down this evening over something so little. Something I already knew but it still hurts. I took a sleeping pill. I know it's bad but I had to. I don't want to do this to myself anymore. Too much thinking and over analyzing is not good for the soul. I just have to be strong and keep my head up high. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow brings new promises. A better "Kim".

Day 8: Weight Loss Challenge

Well it was pretty much your average day. Woke up, had lunch, went to school, then hit the gym. I put in a hours worth of my blood, sweat and tears with my new circuit this afternoon. I am still having a hard time with the cardio, but I think...no...I know this is the week my cardio is going to increase. I'm eating a whole lot better. I'm actually getting sleep without the aid of the sleeping pills. My energy is coming back without the massive cravings for junk. Why put it in my body if it doesn't help, right? I am detoxifying my body or trying to at least. I have my goal and am well on my way to reaching it. No mercy.

Today is picture day. I look different in this one compared to the first for 3 reasons. One, I am wearing makeup. Two, this picture is taken in the evening (no natural lighting as in the first image). And three, my hands are placed a little lower in this image. Honestly, I don't see a change but that's just my opinion. I am okay with that because since the first image I know I have gained my strength back both physically and emotionally. Enjoy.

Some Guys Are Jerks & Don't Even Know It

I hate it when people rub things in your face. Don't you? A sly comment here and another one there. Sometimes I just don't want to hear it at all. Please just keep those so-called innocent comments to yourself. They could/will hurt someone. Why even mention it or say anything when the person saying it knows very well it would annoy the recipient? Sometimes people know just the right buttons to press to tick me off. Wounds take time to heal. The wounds are still so fresh. Don't pick at them.

I HATE GUYS IN GENERAL RIGHT NOW. THEY ARE ALL JERKS...okay okay fine...not all are jerks but some are just disguised very well. In many cases, you won't even know they are a jerk until that critical moment. By then it's too late. The damage is done.

I know what I must do, but it's still gnawing away at me. I need time to think. All I can say right now is "BAH". That's it, that's all.

Back To Life...Back To Reality

Oh yes my glorious BB is back...well not the same pink one I had before. The unfortunate tale goes like this....too much moisture in phone causes the keys to sometimes die (note to self: do not put phone in between cleavage while dancing at the bar). Solution on BB forums - put phone in oven at 200 degrees Fahrenheit to pre-heat and turn off afterward to take away moisture. I did what they said and no such luck. So I went to the nearest Telus store and bought a new one...I know I know...I had to.

Afterward, I went to the gym thinking to myself I'm going to get in a good workout to make up for all the candy and junk food I had yesterday for Halloween (for the first time in a long time...don't hate). I started my new circuit. I went through it once and looked at the clock at what appeared to say 3:45 pm. My dad needed the car before 4:00 pm. I immediately took off and low and behold when I got home the clock said 2:50 pm. Stupid Shapes. FIX YOUR CLOCKS. So this is me...now angry at myself for not putting in the normal 2 hours at the gym. So tomorrow I will have to work extra hard to make up for today. Well at least I got a working cell phone again, which puts my happy scale at a 7.

Going Crazy Without My BB

I am naked...just naked without my phone. It is so sad to even utter those words. I have become so reliant upon it that it feels like a part of me is missing. So sad I know. I'm just waiting for a transaction to come through and then I'm off to the nearest Telus store. Forget working out 'til this evening. My telecommunications are more important...haha. I just hope my dealings with Telus aren't a headache with a side of extra costs. I'm dying here.

Wish me luck.

Halloween Night

Today, I took it easy quite literally. I slept in as per usual. I didn't work out because my body was telling me "NO". I did some chores around the house. Accompanied my sister, Mabel, at Superstore for her groceries. Then showered and got ready. I did not have any idea as to what I was going to wear for Halloween. At first, it was a toss up between a geisha girl and a nurse. Then I remembered I had a b-ball jersey and decided to go for a b-ball girl look. It turned out quite well with some elements from home and my sister's place (headband and electrical tape for the strips on my knee high socks).

The kiddies were lacking in the area my sister lived. We got about 12 kids...that's it. While waiting for the kids to ring the doorbell and say the infamous lines "trick-or-treat", my sister and I decided to take back our childhood and watch "The Labyrinth" with Jennifer Connolly and David Bowie. Good movie.

My gay phone wasn't working after my sisters place, so I decided to head over to Devon's house without notice (I know..I'm so rude). He was luckily still at home. We watched some of the movie "Bogeyman 3" while trying to figure out our plans for the evening. We decided to head over to Lorraine's place.

When we got there they had already started to play the movie "28 Weeks Later". Let me tell you, I am not a fan of scary movies and this one is no exception to that rule. I found myself screaming most of the movie. And just when I thought it was done for the evening, they popped in the movie "Dawn of the Dead". YES...MORE SCARY. I had to cover my eyes for some of the scenes. Yes...yes I am a huge baby. My heart was racing the whole entire time...not to mention even after the movie. I hope I can sleep tonight.

Note to self: check underneath my bed for zombies and lock my doors...haha.

"MY" Night

"I got a feeling. That tonight's gonna be a good night." And yesterday was.

I had dropped my brother to school for his midterm and drove myself early to the gym before my 7:00 pm personal training session with Amy. I started out with my regular circuit when Amy came over and said her 6:15 pm client canceled. We ended to having a double slot (1 hour and 30 minutes). Let me tell you it was quite intense. She made up a new circuit for myself that includes cardio, legs, arms, abs...just about everything. I had told her it would be ideal if this circuit could cater to my goal of a "total body makeover". She put in 12 different exercises....12...she is truly insane, but then again I want that "insane" body. After the gym, I was completely exhausted.

Republic was slow at first when we got there at 10:30 but it got bumpin' around 12:30 am. Had my awesome friends there (Diana, Christian, Devon, mL, Des, Lisa). It was great fun. It was my night. My first official night where I felt my sexiest, danced my heart out and was FREE. Oh let me tell you, my legs were so sore from all the non-stop crazy dancing. We stayed until 1:30 am. Only bunk part about yesterday was my phone stopped working...so gay. After I got home, I loaded the pics on my computer, listened to my baby Michael Buble and chilled in front of the computer 'til 4:00 am. GREAT NIGHT.

Bring On The Sexy!!!

I cannot express enough how much this class boosts self-confidence. Wow do I ever feel great about myself and my body. I had such an amazing time. Sure it was a tad bit intimating at first, but once you free your inhibitions the fun beings. I must admit there were some moves I didn't have that finesse to but everything comes with practice. She even gave us homework: The SHOULDER twist and strutting (not walking) with the pointed toe. I feel like...NO..I AM one strong, sexy woman. Don't mess with me lol. The class allows one to bring out their inner goddess. I definitely felt very empowered after the class. It sounds so corny but I had/have such a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. I AM SPECIAL and tomorrow night it's on. Bring on the sexy.

Right now, I am enjoying my Starbucks Tazo Chai Latte and happily making a "I AM HOT" music playlist. I know I'm weird. Nothing is going to bring me down...NOTHING.

Oh Sleep...Where Art Thou???

Just when I thought my sleeping pattern was back to normal I have yet another sleepless night even with a sleeping pill. Very, very odd. I guess I have a lot on my mind, but really...what's new...right? There was even one point in the day when I stood up too quickly and experienced what could of easily been my very first blackout. Luckily, I had enough energy to give myself a little tap on the face before it happened. Close call. So with that, I obviously did not get a chance to hit the gym today, which I am quite upset at myself for.
No sleep + working out = disaster. On a good note, to make up for missing the gym, I have my very first Pole Dancing class this evening with my good friend Mary Lou. It should be quite interesting. The class claims to sculpt, tone, lengthen your body, improve coordination, build core strength, increase your flexibility and last but definitely not least...make you feel sexy. It's something I've always wanted to try out to bring out that sexy goddess in me. I'll let you know how it goes. Let's all pray I won't blackout during class.

Bad Dream

I had a bad dream last night. It may have to do with the fact that I had talked to someone prior. My dream was all over the place, but I do recall someone rushing off in a car. Just when I was starting to feel better about myself, I get sucked in again. I woke up quite sad and frustrated. Anyways....

I went to the gym again today for another outstanding 2 hours. Did my other 2 circuits my trainer had made up for me and some cardio at the very end. Yet again, my body was telling me to stop, but my mind was wanting to keep going. I kept thinking to myself "you can do it."

I had my good junior high school friend, Eric, over today to tinker around with music for a potential making of a male/female group and a song for his bride on their wedding day. So sweet. We eventually got to songs about loving ones self and hate. "I'm so sick of love songs. So tired of tears. So done with wishing you were still here. Said I'm so sick of love songs...so sad and slow. So why can't I turn off the radio?" Use singing as an outlet to sing all my sorrows away...okay okay I'll stop with the depressing stuff.

What am I doing now? Thinking about what I should do about my current situation. I know I should cut him off..I know. It's hard because he wants to be friends. I need to sleep on it. Cross your fingers that I will be able to tonight.

Day 2: Push It To The Limit

I went to the gym at 3:45 pm. Did 20 minutes of interval training on the treadmill and my ab workout. I know I look like a complete fool when I'm on the treadmill but you know what we are all at the gym for a purpose...to get in shape. Even though all my wobbly bits are jiggling around everywhere, I got no shame. I don't care. I was actually going to go home because my body was tired until my mind snapped into place and said "WHAT....YOU ARE NOT DONE YET!!!".

I decided to do my regular circuit of weight training (3 sets with about 10-15 reps of each exercise - about 10 different ones). I really pushed myself to the limits today. I looked at the clock and my god I was surprised. It was already 5:30 pm. I didn't even realize I stayed that long. Mind you, my back, arms, legs...pretty much everything is in pain but it feels good. As someone once said "PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY."

I know I can do it. I feel it in my bones.

I CAN DO THIS. EASY. NO PROBLEM!!!

Random thought: Games

I was talking to an old friend last night seeking for advice. Why is it that we play the games that we do in life? Life is one big game. You need the right strategies. You need to make the right moves. One wrong move and you're toast. I hate mind games. I am the worst at that. I've got a couple of friends who are experts. I try not to follow because that is not who I am. It's not in my nature. That's all I got for this random thought.

Day 1: Weight Loss Challenge Begins

Well I went to the YMCA for the first time in a long time. It was kinda small...just not the place for me. I thoroughly enjoy working out at Shapes. Shapes all the way. Plus I adore my trainer, Amy.

Worked out with my good friend Joe. Since he had a membership he is allowed to invite a guest for free...which was me. We started with a warm-up of walking, then moved to the room for weight training and ab work. Afterward, we went upstairs to do some cardio on the StairMaster. I find I always sweat like a pig after going on the machine. It's pretty crazy. Pushed some limits today, which is a good thing since I thought I would of been much weaker since I didn't eat properly or sleep properly yesterday night. I guess I can surprise myself sometimes.

Tomorrow is a new day. Going to hit the gym hard. No more nonsense. I am determined to reach my goal within the next couple of months of 15-20 pounds...no excuses.

I will try to post pictures at the beginning of each week.

WOW! I Lost That Much?

I went to my personal training session yesterday and I weighed 149lbs, compared to the 159 before the event happened. I lost an inch on my waist, and inch on my bust, and an inch on my hips. Calve and thigh measurements are the same. I felt so weak. Tomorrow is my second training session. I know (I hope) by then I will have more energy. My trainer is going to design a workout plan for me to reach my goal of a total body makeover for the next 3 months before Brazil (if I still go). There are some days the depression really gets to me. All I have to do is just remember to BREATHE.

Today Is The Start Of Something New

Getting back to the gym after it's been about 2 weeks is really tough. But today I am determined to give it my all. My goal is to lose 20 pounds in the next 3-4 months. I need to go to the gym everyday for a better "me". Eating healthy and exercising is the key to shedding the pounds. The goal I have in mind is Brazil for the end of January. If I do end up going I wanna look...not just hot....AMAZING haha. But I guess if I want a good start today it may be a good idea to eat some breakfast.

ta ta for now.