Part II: Support Your Fort

The people who you surround yourself with can be influencers in life for decisions you make. True or false?

Now, not everyone is like me and not everyone likes the same things I do and that's okay.  Just as long as it isn't too much of an indifference IMO. Don't like Backstreet Boys?  No problem. Don't like my new hair cut? Whatever. Get mad at me for not drinking it up all night?!? Ah well.

On my journey of "Finding Myself", I was at a crossroad. I just started my quest to health. It was something I always wanted, but I was still hanging out with some friends who didn't live that lifestyle and didn’t understand why I was doing the things I was doing. Just like Sean Kingston would say, "Sleep all day and party all night". I wanted to keep both lifestyles. (At the time I didn't know any better). 

Real Life Scenario #2: Party Time or Party Pooper? (*see scenario #1 here)

It was my girlfriend...hmm....let's call her Jessica...it was her birthday bash at her place.  There was food galore since it was a potluck. With Filipinos, we go BIG when it comes to food. We are also known for handling copious amount of liquor....not very well, but we can. 😉

Sam and I had already had a dinner beforehand, which was our cheat meal. So, we didn't want to eat or drink anything else. We just wanted to hang out with our friends.  

Sam and I only started dating a little bit before the birthday. But even with that short amount of time, he had already instilled a few healthy habits in me.

With the hours that had past, a few of the people at the party were now pretty drunk.  

One guy came up to Sam and I.

"HEY, let me get you two some drinks."  Sam exclaimed "No, it's ok. We don't drink."  The guy blurted out "What? You don't drink? Cmon. Just one!"  Sam said "No. We are good."  He stumbled off to talk to the next person to coax them into drinking. 

But a good 10 minutes later and the Drunk Crusader was back at it. "Cmon you guys...just have a drink."

Sam, now with a more annoyed tone, said "You already asked us and it's still a NO."  The guy said "Man, just have a drink with us...it's a celebration."

He left once again. 

Another 10 minutes later, he came back AGAIN!!  By this time, I was gonna be like "F**K IT!  I'll just have one."  He opened with "It's not going to hurt if you just have one."  As the first few words were coming out of my mouth to give in, Sam stepped in, cut me off mid-sentence and said aggressively "Buddy, you had already asked us THREE times. We don't want anything to drink. You are disrespecting me and my girlfriend."

Buddy was like "Woah man, calm down."  Another guy who understood us stepped in and said to the drunkard, "he already said no. Just leave him alone."  Buddy said "I just wanted everyone to loosen up and have fun."  He shortly left the table to go for a smoke.  

______________________________

Now, Sam's been doing this healthy-active lifestyle since he was a teenager but then there was me...the girl who just started her journey. It was easier for me to give into pressure because I wasn't used to saying no. People pleasing and being a YES-girl was my M.O. It made me realize by being "that girl", I was taking away my true potential for growth both mentally & physically. It was damaging my chance for ever getting to that finish line.

I read somewhere and got some sound advice from people who have been doing this healthy lifestyle for years. And more often than not, when I had mentioned friends who are not 100% supportive about the whole journey of wellness, the consensus was "It's for the best to let them go."

I promised myself that going forward, the choices I made in my life were for me and me only....not to satisfy anyone else.

So, my mission was to focus on me and just see what happened to my existing relationships. So, what happened in the following months?  I did my own thing and slowly the people who still didn't understand my new life became less as a regular cast members and more like special guests.  I believe that friendship is a two-way street.  The people who really wanted me in their lives, kept in contact with me and fully accepted and respected my goals. 

Cut out the bad to influence the good that is out there. And my goodness...there are heap loads of wonderful things, experiences, and inspiring people to meet in the world that one could potentially miss if action is not taken NOW.  After all, there is no better time then the present. 

I found this one quote that really got to me: "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." -Malcolm X-

I slowly became more aware that I was on the path of potential greatness (I know it sounds a little uppity but really there isn't any other way to say it).  I was a more positive person and motivating individual for it.  With my life change, I was able to help motivate others with their goals. How awesome is that?!?

It truly boils down to a happy-self in order to make for a happy life. Focusing on my healthy habits/goals and my own self-improvement made for a better Kimmy.  Selfish? Perhaps, but if you too are on a journey, you will find out that the quest for happiness is never-ending and most definitely, THE most fulfilling.

"Self-love is the source of all our other loves." -Pierre Corn-

Excuse Me? Part I : Doing It For All The Wrong Reasons

Excuses? Oh let me count the ways...

With working at the gym for 3 years now, I've heard all the reasons under the rainbow as to why people need to cancel their membership. These include:
1) Too busy/No time
2) Not motivated/Lazy
3) Loves food too much (Kody, if you are reading this, I am looking at you haha :D )

Whatever the reason is, the number one reason people cancel is "No time". 
I believe, it really boils down to a few things that will help you succeed and overcome this whole "I-am-too-busy” attitude, which is: 1) Making a change for all the RIGHT reasons, 2) Having a solid support system and 3) The willingness to change for the better.

So, let's talk about one of my own personal downfalls starting with "Doing It For All The Wrong Reasons."

What is a “NTGG": Short for NOTORIOUS TEMPORARY GOAL GAL and I, Kimberly Ho, was sadly one of them.  

Definition: 
1. A girl who would only get motivated to lose weight when she knew a special event was coming up in the near future, only to gain it all back & more. Ex: an upcoming vacation, wedding, Christmas party, summertime or birthday.

Real-Life Scenario #1: Getting ready for my friend’s (Erica & Dave’s) wedding

Doing my workouts at home started about a month and 1/2 before THE BIG DAY. On a daily, I would kill myself with an hour up to two hours on the elliptical downstairs in my basement and an excessive amount of WiiFit time at home. This was all to ensure that I made that deadline of looking great on that one special day because I just wanted to.  Besides having my elliptical and WiiFit, I did have other equipment to use like dumbbells. I went to my nearest drugstore and picked up the two different workout mags specifically for women. Leafed through one of the magazines until I saw one that really caught my eye. “6 Weeks to Flat Abs Workout Routine.” This was the answer I was looking for. I definitely wanted abs and only 6 weeks?!?! I’m IN!

What did I eat? At first, I guess you could say I was kinda doing clean eating…like I knew what foods were good (like tuna, chicken, lettuce, any vegetable…I even thought Vector cereal was healthy before LOL) and which ones were bad but to be honest, I really didn’t know much about food and the appropriate amount to take in while trying to cut my body weight/fat. So, let’s just say I just watched what I ate….kinda. I say kinda because I would still be going back to my potato chips, crackers, and whatever food my mom would bring home from work from the nursing home late at night, which is absolutely the worst time to eat the bad junk. I knew it was wrong, but I guess I thought by eating clean all day that it would be justified and balanced with eating a little bit of bad. Whoops, my bad!

Read up on new meals to try in the fitness magazines I brought home, but personally, it all seemed so daunting and tedious. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the food looked just beautiful, but c’mon. People don’t do this everyday, do they? All I could think was ”MAN, the amount of time it would take me to cook all this food, I know I am going to be so tired at the end of it AND its probably going to cost me a lot." Scratched was the idea of following a meal plan from my magazine. l’ll just stick with the somewhat healthy food my parents have in the fridge. I wanted to change my body for the better, but I didn’t really want to change.

I needed a quick fix to my overweight problem and fast. Of course, I knew there were just TONS of different fad diets out there. Hmm…guaranteed….a diet was going to help me lose a whole bunch of weight!

I’m pretty sure the diet I tried this time around was a version of the cabbage diet and low-carb diet. The cabbage soup was super yummy!!! I modified it to fit my needs and cut out the carbs. Carbs (in my mind) were Bad News Bears. So, I did my research online and found out which vegetables had carbohydrates and cut them out of the diet completely. The first few days were good. I lost about 3-4 lbs. I was still working out and it truly felt like things were happening. But about day three or four, I started to feel very weak and not my normal self. Nonetheless, I still continued the diet until the day of the wedding.

In total, I lost about 15 lbs in the course of a month and 1/2. My mission was complete! I looked good on the outside on their wedding day for all the pictures that were taken but felt very weak on the inside. However, I didn’t feel weak for long. I ate my face off for the 10-course meal they had at their Chinese banquet wedding. Boy, was it ever yummy! My fav was the crab balls. *drool* At the end of the night, I felt gross beyond belief. I was super bloated and felt disgusting. Good thing the dress I was wearing was forgiving.

The next day, I felt as though someone punched me in the face. I had the biggest bags underneath my eyes, my cheeks was swollen and my tummy was sticking out so much.  Cankles are not attractive by the way. It didn’t stop there. No more strict dieting and no more intense workouts.  Because I reached my goal, I felt as though I was free.....free like bird to eat whatever I wanted.  This continued on for a week or two of eating all the junk food I could find in my house because I could.  It was even as bad as I sought out junk food and made a special trip to the store just for a bag of chips. I ended up gaining back all the weight and more.  I felt hopeless and miserable. Back to square one. This is just one of the times I've done this out of countless occasions.

Please, DON'T BE THAT GIRL!!  

For some, this is a vicious cycle that can never be broken. It's really one of the most unhealthiest things you can do to your body. All the up's and down's....your body is probably saying "WTF!"  Instead, find balance in the foods you consume and the workouts you push out. Eat food that your body will thank you for and search for workouts that are fun!  Just find something that works for you and stick with it. Overall wellness for the rest of your life is the key here, not temporary happiness.

To be continued...

-Kim-