Sunday, September 11, 2016

Part II: Support Your Fort

The people who you surround yourself with can be influencers in life for decisions you make. True or false?

Now, not everyone is like me and not everyone likes the same things I do and that's okay.  Just as long as it isn't too much of an indifference IMO. Don't like Backstreet Boys?  No problem. Don't like my new hair cut? Whatever. Get mad at me for not drinking it up all night?!? Ah well.

On my journey of "Finding Myself", I was at a crossroad. I just started my quest to health. It was something I always wanted, but I was still hanging out with some friends who didn't live that lifestyle and didn’t understand why I was doing the things I was doing. Just like Sean Kingston would say, "Sleep all day and party all night". I wanted to keep both lifestyles. (At the time I didn't know any better). 

Real Life Scenario #2: Party Time or Party Pooper? (*see scenario #1 here)

It was my girlfriend...hmm....let's call her was her birthday bash at her place.  There was food galore since it was a potluck. With Filipinos, we go BIG when it comes to food. We are also known for handling copious amount of liquor....not very well, but we can. 😉

Sam and I had already had a dinner beforehand, which was our cheat meal. So, we didn't want to eat or drink anything else. We just wanted to hang out with our friends.  

Sam and I only started dating a little bit before the birthday. But even with that short amount of time, he had already instilled a few healthy habits in me.

With the hours that had past, a few of the people at the party were now pretty drunk.  

One guy came up to Sam and I.

"HEY, let me get you two some drinks."  Sam exclaimed "No, it's ok. We don't drink."  The guy blurted out "What? You don't drink? Cmon. Just one!"  Sam said "No. We are good."  He stumbled off to talk to the next person to coax them into drinking. 

But a good 10 minutes later and the Drunk Crusader was back at it. "Cmon you guys...just have a drink."

Sam, now with a more annoyed tone, said "You already asked us and it's still a NO."  The guy said "Man, just have a drink with's a celebration."

He left once again. 

Another 10 minutes later, he came back AGAIN!!  By this time, I was gonna be like "F**K IT!  I'll just have one."  He opened with "It's not going to hurt if you just have one."  As the first few words were coming out of my mouth to give in, Sam stepped in, cut me off mid-sentence and said aggressively "Buddy, you had already asked us THREE times. We don't want anything to drink. You are disrespecting me and my girlfriend."

Buddy was like "Woah man, calm down."  Another guy who understood us stepped in and said to the drunkard, "he already said no. Just leave him alone."  Buddy said "I just wanted everyone to loosen up and have fun."  He shortly left the table to go for a smoke.  


Now, Sam's been doing this healthy-active lifestyle since he was a teenager but then there was me...the girl who just started her journey. It was easier for me to give into pressure because I wasn't used to saying no. People pleasing and being a YES-girl was my M.O. It made me realize by being "that girl", I was taking away my true potential for growth both mentally & physically. It was damaging my chance for ever getting to that finish line.

I read somewhere and got some sound advice from people who have been doing this healthy lifestyle for years. And more often than not, when I had mentioned friends who are not 100% supportive about the whole journey of wellness, the consensus was "It's for the best to let them go."

I promised myself that going forward, the choices I made in my life were for me and me only....not to satisfy anyone else.

So, my mission was to focus on me and just see what happened to my existing relationships. So, what happened in the following months?  I did my own thing and slowly the people who still didn't understand my new life became less as a regular cast members and more like special guests.  I believe that friendship is a two-way street.  The people who really wanted me in their lives, kept in contact with me and fully accepted and respected my goals. 

Cut out the bad to influence the good that is out there. And my goodness...there are heap loads of wonderful things, experiences, and inspiring people to meet in the world that one could potentially miss if action is not taken NOW.  After all, there is no better time then the present. 

I found this one quote that really got to me: "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." -Malcolm X-

I slowly became more aware that I was on the path of potential greatness (I know it sounds a little uppity but really there isn't any other way to say it).  I was a more positive person and motivating individual for it.  With my life change, I was able to help motivate others with their goals. How awesome is that?!?

It truly boils down to a happy-self in order to make for a happy life. Focusing on my healthy habits/goals and my own self-improvement made for a better Kimmy.  Selfish? Perhaps, but if you too are on a journey, you will find out that the quest for happiness is never-ending and most definitely, THE most fulfilling.

"Self-love is the source of all our other loves." -Pierre Corn-